Where were black people when Andy Lopez was shot?
Love me with a lighter
Kiss my lips with kerosene
Set my soul on fire”
I was in a rainforest
On the stump of a tree listening to
and feeling the rain.
It engulfed me.
I talked to God.
She told me everything would be ok.
I saw hip hop.
I saw camera flashes and a crowd
unimaginable in size.
I saw me entertaining them.
I saw happiness
I saw myself back in that same forest.
Weathering the storm.
We become one.
I felt my 3rd Eye widen.
It squinted..it was new
to light, to the world.
It saw me for the first time and I, it.
I saw peace in the flesh.
I saw a beginning, freedom,
I saw me…and it was beautiful.
I am nature.
I am nature in its purest form,
I am life reborn and reborn.
I am love, I am hate
I am meek, I am great
I am living, I am dead,
I am the mystery words unsaid
I am the river that flows
I am achievement for the souls.
I am praise, I am sin,
I am temptation again and again.
I am ONE where there once was two
I am a drinking gourd overflowing of truth
I am youth, I am young,
I am the owl with wisdom on tongue
I am nature.
I am nature in its purest form
I am life…
reborn and reborn.”
Life is but a dream turned to shit…
It’s a black room furnished with
one door with a mismatched key and lock
What is this fuckery that I’ve designed?
I have sculpted a masterpiece
of poisonous calamity
with a remedy yet to be concocted…
See, I’m currently searching for
temporary gates to permanent floods
and barely keeping my nostrils
above raging waters,
Swimming towards solutions
I could find within myself…
But I’m just a human,
Don’t criticize my methods.
Most of y’all find tranquility
in praying to a man you can’t see
I find it in drunk meditation
and high expression
in the hopes that I can EQ
the highs and lows of this 24,
So while this spirit is still tied
to this cage
I am my own god,
operating under a higher power:
breaking and creating universes
within this mind of mine,
Don’t judge my power.
This is nothing short of me
burning the blueprints
of the generations before me
and breaking ground
on the pyramids
people tried to take from me,
I own this life.”
Tonight I sat.
Tonight I sat and thought.
About black life in America
and how unfair it is
that no matter what we do
no matter how much we excel
we are targets.
Black babies, kids, men, and women
all have a crosshair on their skull
and a white man behind the trigger
eager to feel the jerk of the gun
split the skull of another Black youth,
split the divide between us and them farther
split us further away from our hopes and dreams
and the sad thing
is the killing is coming
from the biggest gang in America
Not Gangster Disciples
just your everyday police force
dressed with nigga-killin’ guns,
smiles lusting for black blood to spill
and they’re all covered by a government
that hates us too
This is our reality
and all we can do is FIGHT!”
For a moment in time, my life FROZE…
Looking back at it,
this has happened many times before,
The FIRST time was when I met you:
We poured a cup of our spirits
into a conversation over life and music
and I needed more
The SECOND time was when I realized
that walls with an electric, barbed wire contraption
didn’t equal your subtraction:
You were still here as my friend
and understood me as a man,
YOU single handedly broke down a 25 year old wall
BRICK by BRICK,
dismantled the electricity,
and unraveled barbed wire with your bare hands
Sorry for any scars I may have caused…
The THIRD time was when I came to you
without doubt or fear of judgment
and cried in your shoulders
It’s surprising how tears can baptize demons,
and we laid in the floor, holding hands
as we prayed 2 Lady (God)
about my constant struggles
of being black in America with problems
invisible to the eye,
but detrimental to the mind
No matter how many times I look back
I have always seen you by my side,
Even when my childish ways
rendered me blind to the facts
that you are everything I’ve desired in a woman
The way your name
has strings attached to the corners
of my mouth
When I hear your name,
My smiles reaches for California
and without hesitation, finds completion
as it glides towards New York
From west to east, you extend my joy
The wanderlust I experience
with a simple kiss,
I’m in love wit being
in love with you
I’m in love with the fact that
you aren’t afraid to show that you love me,
In love with the fact that no matter what
my best friend is holding my hand,
and brave enough
to walk on a journey with me
to become something much more
THIS is the Sun and Moon love we deserve: